Chapter 178: The One In Which Life Choices are Affirmed

So. RVs.

Way back in the beginning, Kim and I were debating how to go about managing our massive mid-life crisis. We decided to either buy a boat and sail the world or buy an RV and explore the Western Hemisphere. Buying OUR boat was a mistake. Buying A boat was not. RV life is not for us. And I can say that with some authority, having just spent 3 1/2 weeks living in one. We did not enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong. We had a great time and explored nearly the entire North Island of New Zealand. That part was incredible. But the “living in a campervan” part? Not so much.

First of all, full disclosure, we made mistakes on the front end. Mostly because we had absolutely no campervan experience and because we planned the trip in about 45 minutes. We got a big campervan. Pretty much the biggest campervan type that exists in New Zealand. It was a “Class B” for those in the US. “Class A” motor homes don’t exist in New Zealand-they are too big. (Those are the ones that look like busses.) We picked the Class B because we figured if we were headed off-grid, we wanted a shower and hot water and a toilet. Problem is, we couldn’t really go off-grid. First of all, the campervan was too big to get to the remote spots. A Class B campervan needs, you know, roads. Second, the battery in our campervan let us be unplugged from power for maybe two days. If we didn’t want hot water. It had no lithium battery and no solar, so it had to be plugged in to charge the battery. Annoying. Third, campervans don’t really have the carrying capacity of Meraviglia. It can only carry about 20 gallons of water and the gray water tank for used water only holds about that much. And the toilet only holds about 3 gallons of waste. So, unless we’re digging a hole for our waste, we’re not spending a week off-grid. And wouldn’t you know, I happened to forget a shovel.

So, we wound up spending our time mostly in trailer parks-glamorous, I know. To be fair, campervan trips are HUGE in New Zealand, so the trailer parks are pretty nice. But having to walk to the toilet and use a communal shower all the time is not our jam. They also tend to have crappy WiFi, which is why there were no posts during our trip.

Then there was the whole sleeping thing. We didn’t really want to have to set up and take down the bed every day, so we slept in the berth over the cab. This had a few rather unpleasant downsides. The first was that a ladder was required to get in and out of bed. The second was that once in bed, Kim was pretty much trapped unless she crawled over me to get out. The third was the realization that, being “of a certain age” means toilet trips at night. Which brings us back to Downside #1.

Then there was the driving. Another reason why our campervan choice was less than ideal. You know the Lord of the Rings movies? Remember the sweeping vistas of mountains and rolling hills? Well, that movie was filmed in New Zealand. IT AIN’T FLAT!! So it was the perfect trifecta really. Winding, narrow mountain roads with steep drop-offs and blind curves, and a large, cumbersome vehicle. That’s only two, you say? Well. Let’s talk about New Zealand’s primary export. It’s timber. Logging is HUGE there. And guess how that timber gets from the forests where it’s harvested to the ports where it’s shipped out? On TRUCKS! Big, tandem semi trucks hauling huge logs. I still break out in sweats thinking about it. And we drove. Boy did we drive. Our original plan was to do a lot of hiking. Unfortunately, Kim injured herself on Day 3, so that plan went out the window. (She’s fine now-muscle strain.) We then retooled to explore cities and towns. Which was fine except did I mention the campervan was huge? City driving was also great. It also meant we were on the move more than we expected. Our trip was 24 days. We logged 1,875 miles in that time. We saw the northernmost, southernmost, easternmost, and westernmost parts of North Island. And pretty much everything in between. And did I mention New Zealand is a “drive on the left” country? No? Well, it is! It only took a week for me not to turn on the windshield wipers every time I wanted to signal a turn.

So, here we are. Granted, RV life is not for us. Definitely. But it was an awesome trip. New Zealand is probably the most beautiful country we’ve seen. And the people are incredibly friendly. We love it. In fact, we love it so much, we are considering coming back here next cyclone season to explore South Island. We’ll see. Right now, we’re back in the US, in a small cottage in Seguin, Texas. I start my temporary job tomorrow. I hope I remember how to “doctor”!

We’re going to put up a couple more posts with details/highlights of our trip (SEALS!) in the coming days, so stay tuned. We know you missed us!

Speaking of that, this random thing happened last week. I got an email from a high school friend of mine. Now, that might not seem so unusual to you. But I have not had contact with anyone from high school since, well, high school. To say I was “socially awkward” in high school would be quite fair. And before you think “well, wasn’t everyone?”, let me tell you that no, everyone wasn’t. Anyway Andy reached out to say he for some reason thought “I wonder what became of Bob Stephens?” and googled me. He found our blog. And over the last few weeks, he has read EVERY. SINGLE. POST. That’s a lot of time. I mean, I wouldn’t do that and I wrote most of them. He and his wife are in a similar situation as Kim and I are: empty nester, thinking about the next chapter, etc. He said our blog has helped him think about what sorts of things he and his wife might want to do and about doing those things while they are still able to. I was really touched. That’s not too bad for something we started writing so I would be able to remember the stuff from my rest home bed.

We hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season!