Mid Life Crisis:  Wikipedia defines a mid-life crisis as “a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 40 to 60 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly lack of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of intense depression, remorse, and high levels of anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to their current lifestyle or feel the wish to change past decisions and events.”

Waaaaiiiiit a minute.  That doesn’t seem right.

“Crisis”?  Ummmm…no.

“Lack of accomplishments”?  Nah.

“Intense depression”?  Nope.  “Remorse”?  Nope.  “Anxiety”?  Nope.

“Achieve youthfulness”?  God no!

Well then, as our kids asked, “So we’re doing this why, exactly?”

Let’s back up.

Bob (Pre-Crazy)

We’re Bob and Kim Stephens.  I, Bob, am a pediatrician.  Kim, my wife, is a child life specialist (go ahead, google it.  Nobody else knows, either) and health care executive.  We’re in our mid-50s and feel extraordinarily blessed.  We are comfortable financially, though not wealthy (more on that later), successful professionally, and managed to raise and launch two kids without ruining them.  I am originally from Northeast Ohio (think Cleveland) and Kim is from southern New Jersey.  We met in Rochester, New York when I was in medical school and Kim was working at the children’s hospital.  We settled in the Cleveland area after getting married.  In 2009, we moved to South Central Texas (PLEASE, NO MORE SNOW!).  Here, I practice pediatrics in the rural community where we live and Kim commutes an hour to Austin for her job at a children’s hospital. 

Kim (Also Pre-Crazy)

Our children are both out of school and have lives of their own, one on either coast.  We soon settled into the empty nest routine and were enjoying our free time by hiking, working on physical fitness, and spending time with friends.  And travel.  We LOVE to travel.

The Fam (Notice absence of shocked expression on faces of offspring. This was DEFINITELY Pre-Crazy!)

Then came COVID.  It’s been brutal.  We’ve been on the front lines to see the fear and anxiety, the resistance to public health restrictions, the effects of misinformation, the tragedy of children losing parents and grandparents.  It’s been… a lot.  And it’s not that we can’t handle it.  We can, though not easily.  But we started to think about what we were missing by living our “traditional” lives.  What do I mean by “traditional”?  Grow up.  Go to school.  Go to college.  Get a job.  Work.  Retire at 65 (or 70).

We had started planning for that retirement-especially the travel we wanted to do.  But the pandemic came and suddenly that didn’t seem like a sure thing.  People our age were DYING.  One of my colleagues had a stroke.  Someone else died from cancer.  It suddenly became very clear that, although we had been very fortunate and blessed by our “traditional” path, there was no guarantee that we were going to see that to the end.  We could work another 15 years and then not be able to do all that stuff we had been planning.

I’m not sure that qualifies as a “crisis”, but it sure was an eye-opener.

But what to do…